Be patient, thumbnails annoy me, so this page is going to load all images.


Well, Alf went on holiday to Ibiza, he commisioned me, the almighty SQUITS
to take the official pictures, so here they are.

Waiting at Leeds Bradford airport.

i like to fuck vicars

On the aeroplane (he went to the toilet a lot, I think he was playing with banananananas)

i had sex with a goat

Arriving at Ibiza airport.

spank me like you mean it, you whore

Seeing the Mare Nostril Hotel for the first time.

I'll never get that out of my hair

Dropping by the beach to see some fit birds and a castle.

my eye stings, i need a towel

A nice relaxing swim.

it tastes salty

And then a nice sunbathe.

its so dry now, i'll have to peel it off

I'm catching a taxi to the pub.

if i spunk on the seat, i'll pay the covering charge

Having a beer and talking to my mate Badger, the tortoise.

gadzooks tarquin, theres a fly in my ointment

I'm really not getting anywhere, I need better transport.

i ate your cheese sarnie mum, please falate me

Attempting a game of pool.

fhubhabhgrbgrbgrubgurebgrehhubaeohvbabgaeubgfaohdfohabohabdhabdsgf

Me and my mates, sharing some Absinthe cocktails.

i hate hospitals, they pump my little monkey stomach

God damn, I've got the munchies.

i came in this food

In my tree, not out of it.

I think im gonna hurl on that bald guys head

Stay tuned for Alfs next holiday at the centre of the earth.