cinema

10 THINGS NOT TO DO IN A CINEMA

1. Staple your nuts to the chair, then jump up and down screaming "Veronica, the feet fell off the sideboard!"

2. Leave a big turd in the middle of the aisle with a lolly pop stick sticking out of it saying "Viva le France"

3. Watch the film without mentioning anything about the main character having sex with a small mammal five years ago while in a brothel in Russia.

4. Masturbate.

5. Have sex with your mother.

6. Enjoy a nice 9 year old girl bouncing up and down on your lap.

7. Stick your nob into the ear of a stewardess, whilst asking for a Cornetto.

8. Run up to the screen, screaming "Daddy, why did you leave me, you bastard whore-doer"

9. Masturbate again.

10. Skullfuck every customer until they bleed.

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